Whiskey Lullaby
by Obsessivegeekybuffalosnowcones
Summary: A songficthingy about BxE. The rating is due to drinking and suicide. It doesn't go into much detail, so it's really just to be safe. The song is Whiskey Lullaby by Brad Paisley. I don't own Twilight.


Author's note: I don't own Twilight. I've been trying to write this for a month now. It's a Bella and Edward songficthingy. Originally this was going to be written more storyish, but I couldn't bring myself to have a real Edward do this. I got the idea this morning to make it a dream Bella has during New Moon. Since it's a dream, Edward is going to be human. The song is Whiskey Lullaby by Brad Paisley. It's the only song I've listened to all day. Here goes nothing…

Whiskey Lullaby

I held myself together, just like every other night. I waited as silent sobs racked my body. Eventually it would stop and exhaustion would allow me a few restless hours of sleep. Then I'd sit and wait for my alarm to go off. Just like every other morning. I sighed and leaned into my pillow to wait for sweet oblivion to take me.

I woke up with a pair of strong arms around my waist. It felt so _nice_, but so wrong. These arms were wrong. They were soft and warm, not cold and hard like they should be. I opened my eyes and saw bands of russet skin around my midsection. I looked up into the eyes of Jacob Black.

This wasn't right. Where were the cool arms I constantly craved? I sat up disoriented. "Good morning, Bella," he whispered huskily. It was then that I realized the compromising position I seemed to be in. I didn't want this. Heck, I didn't even _remember_ this. I heard a quiet hiss.

_He _was standing in the doorway. He looked angry, and pained, and hurt. He looked _broken_. I started rising from my bed, but Jacob's arms held me back. "Edward," I called out, but he just shook his head slowly and left, holding back tears. I turned around to push Jacob off me. He just held on tighter and grinned.

_She put him out_

_Like the burning end of a midnight cigarette_

_She broke his heart_

Everything around me faded. I ended up in a bar. The room was smoky and crowded. All the occupants were packed near the bar, except for one. A messy bronze head across the room leaned back taking a generous swig from a bottle. I ghosted closer and stopped in front of him. I must have been invisible, because he looked straight through me. Edward's eyes looked haunted. He had large purple bruises under his eyes, detailing many sleepless nights. He seemed worse than me. If I had been a zombie since I was abandoned, he was just a corpse.

_He spent his whole life trying to forget_

_We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time_

_But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind until the night_

The world shifted again and I willed myself to stay with Edward. Sometimes wishful thinking does work, because, when everything solidified, I was still at his side. We appeared to be in a horribly unkempt bedroom. Clothes and bottles littered the floor. He sunk to his knees and picked up a bottle. He took a healthy swig. His lips upturned some, but he seemed to be having trouble remembering how to smile. A few failed attempts later, a huge grin spread across his face. Then all was black.

_He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger_

_And finally drank away her memory_

_Life is short, but this time it was bigger _

_Than the strength he had to get up off his knees_

The light returned slowly. Three figures were gathered around the bed. I recognized them as Carlisle, Emmett, and Jasper. A dark shape was unmoving on the sheets. The room finished illuminating all at once. After the glare died down, I could see the shape clearly. Edward's face was buried into his pillow. I watched his back for the slow steady rhythm of his breathing, but there was nothing. He was dead. My Edward was _dead. _Clenched in his right fist was a piece of paper.

_We found him with his face down in the pillow_

_With a note that said "I'll love her til I die"_

The funeral showed all of the Cullens in black gathered around the coffin. Now a true corpse, Edward lay within, finally peaceful. His hands were folded over his stomach, the note still held tightly. He was buried beneath a willow tree with freesias surrounding the base. My lullaby could be heard faintly playing.

_When we buried him beneath the willow_

_The angels sang a whiskey lullaby_

_La la la la la la la_

_La la la la la la la_

My perception moved out of my body. I could see my despondent face as I was followed by whispers. They were right to talk. It was my fault he was dead. If I hadn't been with Jake, none of this would have happened. I would still have my Edward.

_The rumors flew_

_But nobody knew how much she blamed herself_

_For years and years_

My room had grown to look like his before he… I could barely bother to keep up my own appearance, much less that of my house. I hid it well, but my new haunted look was partly due to heavy drinking. No one knew, nor would they ever find out. Every binge brought me a little closer to forgetting. That's all I could hope for anymore, memory loss.

_She tried to hide the whiskey on her breath_

_She finally drank her pain away a little at a time_

_But she never could get drunk enough_

_To get him off her mind until the night_

I downed a whole bottle in one gulp. I couldn't remember my own name, much less what I was trying to forget. I felt the freest I had in years. I found the way I could stay free, and I took it.

_She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger_

_And finally drank away his memory_

_Life is short but this time it was bigger_

_Than the strength she had to get up off her knees_

I looked down upon myself. I had a picture frame pressed up against my not beating heart. I died holding my Edward, now I was going back to him. Alice and Rosalie discovered me. Their tears shook me, but there was nothing I could do now.

_We found her with her face down in the pillow_

_Clinging to his picture for dear life_

I was quick to be buried next to Edward. I would spend eternity with him.

_We laid her next to him beneath the willow_

_While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby_

_La la la la la la la_

_La la la la la la la_

As I stared down at the gravesite, two ghostly figures arose from the ground. They danced and twirled to the unheard beat of an angels lullaby. She melted into his arms, and there was no more.

I awoke without the usual screams. All I could do was cry for the two lovers until six when my alarm pierced the silence.

A/N: What do you think? This is a whole lot different than anything I've ever done before. All praise and criticism is wanted. Feel free to tell me you hate it too. But if you say anything against this song…I will not be a happy camper. Thank you.


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